Boron - Chapter 08

Well, guess what? For a long time I have been wishing there was a way to get a list of pregnant women. Now there is! While looking through the "SRDS" I discovered that now you can rent 120,000 new names of pregnant mothers every month. Oh boy! Well, I got myself a hold of an M.D. who is very skilled in research in the areas of human and animal intelligence and I have commissioned him to write a report titled "How To Raise Your Child's IQ Before It Is Even Born!"

This is exciting. Let's talk numbers. I plan to sell the report for $19.95 + $2.75 postage and handling. (Total $22.70) My fulfillment costs will probably be (including the 10% I pay the doctor) about $5.00. This means that every sale will yield a $15.00 contribution to overhead. Now, let's assume I'll get a 5% response. This means, of course that out of every 1,000 letters I mail I will be receiving a total of 50 orders at $22.70 or a total gross income of $1,135.00. Now let's deduct $5.00 per order for fulfillment (which is $5.00 x 50 orders or $250) from this $1,135.00 and, as you can see we will have $885.00 left. Now, of course, we must also deduct the cost of the mailing. I figure it will cost (including list rental) about $400 per M (thousand) to mail a promotion like this. Thus, when we deduct this $400 from the $885.00 we have left to play with, you will see that we have a profit of $485.00 for every thousand letters mailed.

Hot damn! I'm cooking now! I'm glad I decided not to rest.

Onward. Let's see now $485.00 profit per M times 120M equals a total profit of $58,200.

EVERY MONTH!

P.S. I'm sitting here with Bobby B and I have just discovered how to get Paul Harvey on my new radio. What I get is a very weak signal from KABC but, my other co-worker Jack (The Plantation Nigger) (he's really white) has just shuffled over. Jack told me earlier, that you can get Paul also at 2:30. Maybe I'll interrupt my running and see if I can get him then.

I Love You And Good Luck!

Dad