mentoring

You know, I could write a more compelling sales letter to you for my copywriting services. But frankly I'm tired of writing about myself and this half-assed, sloppy pitch is making me feel "funny". But, I do feel moved to tell you another story.

I was recently contacted by a guy who said he had read each and every issue of my newsletters on my website and he was thinking about hiring me. He wondered if I would send him a portfolio of ads I had written for other people so he could evaluate whether or not I had enough talent to work for him. I was NOT polite with this guy. I told him something to the effect, "Look, if you've really read all my newsletters, many of which include examples of what I've written for other people, and you are still in doubt as to whether you should hire me or not, you are NOT a serious person." Actually, what I said was much more profane than that. But, I see no need to reprint it here.

This deal is not for everyone. There are certain people who

shouldn't even think about calling me in response to this offer. So please, if you fall into even one of the following categories... do NOT contact me to become a client of mine:

* I don't want to waste one single second with somebody who cannot afford my $15,000 upfront fee and/or thinks they are going to be able to hire me at a discount.

* Also, I don't want to talk with anyone who has to check with anyone else as to whether or not they should hire me. If you have to check with your lawyer, your accountant, your spouse, your mommy or your daddy or anyone else, just assume it wouldn't be a good idea and don't waste my time.

* My methods are unusual, to say the least. Don't expect me to slow down to a crawl just to make you comfortable. When it comes to money, I go right for the jugular and, if this takes you out of your comfort zone, you should look in the Yellow Pages of your phone book under "Advertising Agencies" and go ahead and waste your time talking to one of those brilliant Ph.D.'s who'll be happy to create a much more conventional (and totally unprofitable) campaign for you.