aslz winners losers

5.

Some
of the callers will ring back twice, three times and
more.

Etc.

So what's the point? Ah, not so fast, my friend. Before
I get to that, you're going to have to endure even more of my
fatuous drivel. Be patient. This drivel is relevant.

Ready? OK. Once upon a time when I was publishing this
newsletter from Los Angeles, I got a call from one of my
subscribers who was selling a very high-priced service
to companies who were (or should be) doing business with
Pacific Rim countries. "How to get the attention of these
companies?" that was their question.

"Do this," I says. "Go to
Deak-Perrara and get some paper currency from each of the
Pacific Rim countries. Get the lowest denomination bills you
can. Then put a bill from each different country into a bundle
and attach that bundle of bills to the top of the first page
of a personally-typed letter. The letter should be dated, have
an inside address, and be sent first-class or better yet, via
Federal Express. The letter should begin by telling the
recipient to hold that bundle of money in one hand while he
holds the letter in the other hand and reads it. The letter
should go on to say the money the reader is holding in his
hand is only a microscopic sample of the money he and
his company is missing out on by not using the firm the writer
of the letter works for to help capture a share of the Pacific
Rim market."

My callers (there were two of them) were elated. They
sang my praises. They said this was a great idea.

Time passes. About a month later they ring back wanting
to talk some more and perhaps pick up another good idea or
two. "How did that last mailing go?" I asked.
"The one where you attached the bundle of bills?"

"Oh, we haven't gotten around to that yet,"
they say. "But we think it was an exciting idea and we'd
like to pick your brain some more."

"No way," I said to them. "I'm going to
hang up and, quite frankly, I have no interest in ever
talking to you again!"