motherlode

Do you
have the guts to do... whatever it takes... to protect
yourself, your family and your home?

Here's a
true story that makes me feel a little bit stupid.

Have I
ever got a deal for you!

Do you
remember the letter I sent to you with a $1.00 bill attached to
the first page?

Have I
ever got a deal for you!

Listen: I
am about to make you the most interesting proposition you've ever
heard. And, if you go along with my idea, you can get the tapes of
my mind-blowing seminar (and all the other material that came with
the seminar) at no cost whatsoever!

My name is
Larry Williams and I'm going to get right down to business.

I'm going
to fill you in on a little secret and you must keep it between you
and me. You see, if the "Head Hauncho" found out what I'm doing...

It
Could Cost Me

My
Job!

A few days
ago I sent you a 12-page letter with a free audio tape scotch-taped
to the first page.

If you can make it past those two "hurdles" (writing a "killer" headline
and a captivating introduction), the next part of writing copy ought to
come more easily to you. After all, it's basically writing a story. A
story about why the customer should give you his hard-earned money.
Does your story... your "body copy"... compel the reader to continue
reading? Compare your own copy with these tidbits from my "Motherload
Collection":

I was
embarrassed. I didn't know what to do. I felt like a fool. So, what
I did was, I put a fifty dollar bill on the table, mumbled something
about how that should cover lunch... and... I got the hell out of
there. I went back to work, closed the door to my office and buried
myself in work. I didn't feel like talking to anybody, especially
Lauren.