aakh improve response

What's that? You say all this is obvious? You
say your mail is already being delivered to
the post office and being delivered by
the post office and being opened and read by all your
prospects? You say you've got all this elementary stuff
covered?

Surely you jest.

Let me tell you what in
reality is happening to a lot of your mail. First, all the
mail you are paying to have printed and assembled is not
always being delivered to the post office by your lettershop.
Why? The answer is simple. You see, it is much more profitable
for your lettershop to assemble only 90% of your mail than it
is to assemble 100% of your mail.

Of course, you don't believe this is
happening, do you? I mean, after all, your lettershop gets a
receipt from the post office for the number of pieces of mail
it delivers to the loading dock, doesn't it? And that receipt
is given to you, isn't it?

And receipts don't lie, do they? Especially
ones that are signed by an employee of the almighty U.S.
Federal Government, right?

Be serious. Try and picture this scene in your
mind. I want you to imagine a guy named Jose who works on the
loading dock of a big city Post Office. I want you to know a
little about this guy. I want you to know that he has six kids
and a nagging wife, a seven-year-old car that needs a valve
job, a drawer full of overdue bills, worries about how he's
going to swing Christmas and also, the hots for a little
co-worker named "Roundheels" Rhonda.

Now ol' Rhonda isn't too particular about her
gentleman friends as long as they come equipped with a
well-stocked personal pharmacy.

So anyway, our guy Jose has all this on his
mind when the truck from Larcenous Lettershop drives up and
out pops the owner, Mr. Ferdinand Letscrewem. Ferdy then walks
up to Jose (who he's known for years) and starts up a
conversation: