aakh improve response

Of course, you don't believe this is
happening, do you? I mean, after all, your lettershop gets a
receipt from the post office for the number of pieces of mail
it delivers to the loading dock, doesn't it? And that receipt
is given to you, isn't it?

And receipts don't lie, do they? Especially
ones that are signed by an employee of the almighty U.S.
Federal Government, right?

Be serious. Try and picture this scene in your
mind. I want you to imagine a guy named Jose who works on the
loading dock of a big city Post Office. I want you to know a
little about this guy. I want you to know that he has six kids
and a nagging wife, a seven-year-old car that needs a valve
job, a drawer full of overdue bills, worries about how he's
going to swing Christmas and also, the hots for a little
co-worker named "Roundheels" Rhonda.

Now ol' Rhonda isn't too particular about her
gentleman friends as long as they come equipped with a
well-stocked personal pharmacy.

So anyway, our guy Jose has all this on his
mind when the truck from Larcenous Lettershop drives up and
out pops the owner, Mr. Ferdinand Letscrewem. Ferdy then walks
up to Jose (who he's known for years) and starts up a
conversation:

Ferdy:

"How's
it goin, Jose? Getting any action lately?"

Jose:

"Not
much man. Just the ol' lady. I'd sure like to get next
to Roundheels again but you know Rhonda... no blow, no
show."

Ferdy:

"Oh
yeah. Say that reminds me. I got a little something
for you. It's Peruvian flake, man. Root canal
quality!"

Jose:

"Hey
man, you're O.K.! You just saved my cojones from early
retirement!"

Ferdy:

"Glad
to do it, man. Hey listen, I gotta get a receipt for
this mail. I don't know how it's gonna weigh out but
it's supposed to be about 100,000 pieces and that's
what I need a receipt for, you dig?"