Boron - Chapter 13

At the very least I'd like to eat. But I can't. I can't
because this is my day to fast. And to write to you. And to
Z. And to work on a new ad for L. Etc.

And, so I shall. Not because (that bunny is still right
here!) I want to but, rather, because I need to. You
see, when things are tough I have discovered that a very
very simple (but effective) thing to do is just keep moving
in some sort of positive direction.

And... and... let's talk about envelopes and little baggies
filled with dirt. O.K. as I recall, I was just about to tell
you how to use a SRE to induce guilt in a regular commercial
DM sales pitch.

Here's how: What you do is write something like this:

...and so, Mr. Jones, as you
can see, what I am offering you is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity to own a piece of a legalized Nevada whorehouse.
I hope you can take advantage of this offer. But, if you
can't, would you please drop me a note and tell you can't
participate at this time. That way I'll feel free to make
this exciting offer to someone else. I've enclosed a
self-addressed envelope and I have even put a stamp on it
because (either way) it is important that I hear from you
right away.

Please, please -- reply
today!

Many lessons in that little block of copy. First of all,
it's not just a guilt inducer, it also develops a strong
selling point: Namely, the selling point of this being a
genuine limited offer that some other lucky person will take
advantage of it you don't. And, the stamped envelope tends
to "credential" that point. (I just made a noise and my
little bunny slipped away.) Here's something else: If you
can get a person who is not going to order to agree,
in his mind, to write and tell you he is not going to, then
you will get more orders.

Can you guess why? Aha, you didn't get this one, did you,
smart alec? No matter. I'll tell you why. You see, what
happens sometimes is that a person who is getting a pen or
pencil and a piece of paper in order to write you and tell
you "No" will sometimes start thinking like this: "Well,
you jerk. I'd kind of like to get in on this deal anyway and
now that I've got the pen and paper I may as well go ahead
and order."