zfzd private details

But, people are curious about me and so I
thought I would use this issue of my newsletter to...

De-Mystify A Few Details About Myself!

Let's start with my screen name. As you can
see in the letterhead, it is [email protected]. The reason
this is my screen name is really quite simple. When I got my
first computer, I was having a steamy affair with an extremely
sexy woman who was a Practice Management Consultant to
dentists. Her name was Sally and she, through her evil
machinations, was able to keep me in an almost continuous
state of hyper sexual excitation. Then, of course, at the peak
of this pleasurable relationship, she dumped me like I was
nothing more than one of the millions of disposable Dixie Cups
that litter American highways.

When setting up my e-mail account, AOL asked
me to type in what I wanted for my screen name. I typed in a
name I thought nobody but myself would have. To my amazement,
AOL said that name was taken. So, I typed in a different
screen name. AOL said that name was taken too. I kept trying
different screen names and AOL kept telling me each of those
names were taken.

Then, the thought crossed my mind (as it did
approximately every 45 seconds) that I wouldn't be having sex
with Sally ever again. So, just for the hell of it, I typed in
"NoSexGary". And guess what? AOL accepted it! I've
kept it ever since and nobody ever forgets it.

Incidentally, my fiancée thinks I
should change my screen name to "YesSexGary". She
thinks the screen name "NoSexGary" might lead
someone to think she isn't properly taking care of me. Which,
of course, would be an unforgivable sin for a Costa Rican
woman.

Moving on...

Have you noticed I always identify my location
as South, North, East or West of "Jewfish Creek"?
That's because I measure wherever I am in life
(geographically) in relation to how far away I am from Jewfish
Creek.