Gary Halbert · whole document (64)
zfzd private details
Incidentally, my fiancée thinks I
should change my screen name to "YesSexGary". She
thinks the screen name "NoSexGary" might lead
someone to think she isn't properly taking care of me. Which,
of course, would be an unforgivable sin for a Costa Rican
woman.
Moving on...
Have you noticed I always identify my location
as South, North, East or West of "Jewfish Creek"?
That's because I measure wherever I am in life
(geographically) in relation to how far away I am from Jewfish
Creek.
And what or where is "Jewfish
Creek"?
There's an 18-mile stretch of U.S. Highway 1
which runs east and
west from Florida's mainland peninsula to Key Largo.
Key Largo is the northernmost piece of land which starts off
the chain of islands called "The Florida Keys". Underneath this
18-mile stretch of highway is a one-mile long saltwater "creek". There's
a drawbridge over this water so large boats can get through
and continue the 120-mile journey down to Key West.
Now for a bit of science: There's a voracious
grouper which grows to more than six feet long and its
scientific name is "Epinephelus Itajara". It's a
lurking bottom-feeder and is so sluggish, countless divers
have posed for undersea snapshots with it. The common name for
this creature is "Jewfish".
Since they are sometimes found in the
geographic area we are discussing, someone decided (years ago)
to name that one-mile long saltwater creek "Jewfish
Creek".
People in the Keys think of the 18-mile
stretch of road that runs over Jewfish Creek as the
"Southern Mason Dixon Line". You see, generally
speaking, people who live south
of Jewfish Creek are drunks, dope fiends, millionaires,
iconoclasts, and laid-back tolerant folks who don't give a
shit about anything.