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Now for a bit of science: There's a voracious
grouper which grows to more than six feet long and its
scientific name is "Epinephelus Itajara". It's a
lurking bottom-feeder and is so sluggish, countless divers
have posed for undersea snapshots with it. The common name for
this creature is "Jewfish".

Since they are sometimes found in the
geographic area we are discussing, someone decided (years ago)
to name that one-mile long saltwater creek "Jewfish
Creek".

People in the Keys think of the 18-mile
stretch of road that runs over Jewfish Creek as the
"Southern Mason Dixon Line". You see, generally
speaking, people who live south
of Jewfish Creek are drunks, dope fiends, millionaires,
iconoclasts, and laid-back tolerant folks who don't give a
shit about anything.

Generally speaking, the people who live north of Jewfish Creek are hyper-active, over-caffeinated,
dysfunctional, Latino imbeciles who conduct their lives like a
bunch of chickens who've had their heads cut off.

By the way, it turns out a Washington, D.C.
area resident, Arcomcanold G. Conheim has objected to using the
word "Jew" in any form other than a noun. He states
when "Jew" is used otherwise, it is derogatory. This
lunatic is actually part of a growing group who wants to
change the name "Jewfish" to "Goliath
Grouper".

I can tell you this: Whatever the
politically-correct groups decide, those of us whose hearts
and souls reside in the Florida Keys will always think of a
Epinephelus Itajara as a Jewfish. This fish has been known as
a Jewfish for centuries and, to the 80,000 residents of the
Keys, it will ever be so.