azlk make god laugh

"It is still true and will
remain so until the day I die. I
love it!

"Right now, I'm sitting at a
picnic table, under the shade of what Key Westers call
a 'tourist tree' (the bark is always peeling) just
outside one of the government buildings on Whitehead
Street in Key West near MILE ZERO. I'm barefoot,
nekkid from the waist up, my toes are wriggling in the
scrub grass and marl beneath the table, there's a
gentle breeze blowing that refreshes me... and... I
sit here merrily writing away... happy as the
proverbial pig in shit."

I forgot. God
doesn't want Gary to be "happy-as-a-pig-in-shit."
God has chosen Gary to be a low-rent version of a modern-day
Job and, if Gary's happy meter gets to registering too high,
God seems to feel compelled to take corrective action...
like...

Send In A
Hurricane!

Three weeks ago, I'm just starting to get
settled. I haven't even got all my boxes unpacked from my move
from Miami Beach back to the Keys. The weather man keeps
pointing to a multi-colored snarl on the weather map on the
tube. It's getting closer to Florida.

And closer. And closer.

When it gets to the point where the
"strike probability" of where it hits land is 99%...
that... it will hit exactly where I live, I decide to
scoot. But, my car is in the shop. No cars to rent. They're
all taken. No plane seats to buy so I can fly out. They're all
taken. What's left? A trusty Greyhound bus, that's what. I
dispatch Mongo, my current cohort to go to the Greyhound
station. He phones me, "Gary, the bus didn't stop. It just zipped right by."

The next one zips by too. But, this time, says
Mongo, the driver at least waved. We decide to give up. But,
lo and behold, the third bus does stop. Mongo calls to alert
me to be standing at the side of the road (A1A), he gets on
the bus, the bus then stops for me, and... we boogie to Miami.