azlk make god laugh

Whatever. After you read this newsletter, I
want you to call your local cable TV company and see if they
can hook you up with a cable modem for your PC. If they can...
GET IT!

As I said, the fastest telephone modem you can
get allows you the possibility of operating at 56,000
kilobytes per second. A cable modem gives you the possibility
of operating at 1,600,000 kilobytes per second. That gives
your computer the possibility of running 28.57 times faster.
In reality, a cable modem will make your computer run 1,000
times faster... because... the info is traveling on a great,
big wide cable freeway... instead of... a clogged-up,
telephonic, pot-holed back road. You probably won't be able to
get a cable modem. They are expanding this service as fast as
possible but, availability is still a long shot for any
particular geographic location.

But, check into it anyway. All it'll cost you
is a phone call and you might hit the jackpot.

If not, go to a website located at www.direcpc.com and read
all the data you find there. What you'll discover is, if there
is a clear line of sight (from the top of the building where
your computer is located) to the south... you can... for a
lousy $300.00 get yourself a satellite modem... which will...
make your PC run as much as 50 times faster.

If that doesn't work for you, call your
telephone company and tell them you want an ISDN line for your
computer. What an ISDN line is, (when you take the technobabel
out of it) is simply four phone lines smucked into one. Get
one of these dedicated to your PC and it will operate much,
much faster.

MORE: If
you are really serious about using your PC, get yourself a
geek to strip it down. Get rid of almost all the programs they
loaded your computer up with when you bought it...
including... the anti-virus program. (You really don't need it but, I don't have time to tell you why right now.)
Anyway, what this is like... is... taking a car you intend to
race... and... taking all the junk out of the trunk, making
the porkers in the back seat get out and walk... and...
getting rid of everything else that will slow down the speed
of the car. (Including all the seats except the one you need
to sit in.)

Also, if you are not on AOL, sign up for it.
Not because it's the best... but... because it's the most
widely used. That way, if you and I are ever discussing
something to do with computers, I can say, "See that quote icon on the top of your tool bar? I want you to
click on that." It's like, if I were teaching you
trigonometry by phone, we'd both be needing to use the same
textbook so I could say in effect, "Turn
to page 318 and read paragraph three."