azlk make god laugh

If that doesn't work for you, call your
telephone company and tell them you want an ISDN line for your
computer. What an ISDN line is, (when you take the technobabel
out of it) is simply four phone lines smucked into one. Get
one of these dedicated to your PC and it will operate much,
much faster.

MORE: If
you are really serious about using your PC, get yourself a
geek to strip it down. Get rid of almost all the programs they
loaded your computer up with when you bought it...
including... the anti-virus program. (You really don't need it but, I don't have time to tell you why right now.)
Anyway, what this is like... is... taking a car you intend to
race... and... taking all the junk out of the trunk, making
the porkers in the back seat get out and walk... and...
getting rid of everything else that will slow down the speed
of the car. (Including all the seats except the one you need
to sit in.)

Also, if you are not on AOL, sign up for it.
Not because it's the best... but... because it's the most
widely used. That way, if you and I are ever discussing
something to do with computers, I can say, "See that quote icon on the top of your tool bar? I want you to
click on that." It's like, if I were teaching you
trigonometry by phone, we'd both be needing to use the same
textbook so I could say in effect, "Turn
to page 318 and read paragraph three."

IMPORTANT NOTE: AOL has an 800 number you can
use to access the service for $6.00 an hour. I nearly always
use it. It's never clogged up because PC users, by and large,
are too moronically cheap to pay the fee. They'll waste hours
staring at that stupid blue triangle going round and round
but, they won't shell out the few extra fungolas to drive on
the turnpike.

Should you use AOL's 800#? (By the way, it's
1-800-716-0023.) I don't know. I guess it all depends how much
your time is worth. If your time ain't worth six bucks an
hour, stay on your slow-assed, clogged-up, local telephone
line.