Search

`4:10:46`

And I've often talked about joys of having kids and just seeing your own DNA, which is remarkable to me because literally that's been the pursuit of humans since the dawn of time. I am here today because whatever, 30,000 years ago, some Neanderthal had the same realization that I should procreate and I…

`4:11:47`

was just taken for granted. We're in this grand experiment of what happens if we just remove a bunch of institutions? What happens if we no longer value marriage as a something to aspire to? What happened if parenthood is now seen in some camps? It's almost something like weird or against your own self…

`4:12:49`

That's just a really fascinating human experience that the depth of that bond is something you can't appreciate before you have it. But I also think there is a role to play, to talk it up. Because we're being bombarded constantly with reasons why not to. Oh, it's too expensive. Well, you could…

`4:13:51`

You can look at everything that I've done and if you like some of those parts realize that to me in this situation, the kids, the family, the wife is more important than all of it. And it sounds like a cliche because you've heard it a thousand times before. And by becoming a cliche…

`4:14:52`

it's easier to articulate the negatives because they're sort of concrete, pragmatic, you know, it costs more, it takes some time, you know, they can be, you know, crying all over the place. They're, you know, tiny narcissists running around or whatever. — Which is all true. — Yeah, pooping everywhere, that kind of stuff. But…

`4:15:55`

or don't really think about having kids that kind of stuff once they do it changes everything. So, you know, but it's hard to convert it into words. — One of the reasons I think is also difficult is, I mean, I like kids. Not that I actively disliked them, but when I was around other…

`4:16:55`

that the love you develop to an infant, it happens quite quickly. Not necessarily immediately, I don't know, different people have different experiences, but it took me a little bit. But then once it hit, it just hit like kick of a horse. And I love that it's also just such a universal experience. That…

`4:17:56`

and it's, you know, you just have to make it work. It's just that, I don't know, that kind of like divorce would destroy me. — You should listen to The School of Life. He has this great bit on YouTube. You'll marry the wrong person. If you accept upfront that you will marry…

`4:18:57`

I mean, I think you should try very hard. And I think this is also one of those things where we didn't fully understand those fences. And when we pulled them up and celebrated how easy it is to get divorced, for example, that that wasn't gonna have some negative consequences. I'm not saying…

`4:20:02`

I always thought about burdens as a negative things. Why would I want the burden of a child? I might screw it up. I might be a bad parent. They might have bad... all this stuff, right? All the reasons why you shouldn't. And so few voices articulating why you should. — Yeah, but there I should…

`4:21:04`

still led us straight to hell. I really enjoyed Louis Perry's analysis of the sexual revolution not being an unqualified good, which was something I hadn't thought about at all before she articulated it. That of course women should be able to have freedom and self determination and abortions and all of these things. And…

`4:22:05`

this idea that you have to find some of it through art, some of it through authors, some of it through different... I was just about to say modes of knowing before I stopped myself, because that sounds like woo bullshit. But there are different ways to acquire those deep lessons that sort of paper is not…

`4:23:06`

brings not just at the individual level, but rather at a societal level. And it's not clear at all what the answer is. I think we've tried a lot of dead ends when it came to replacements and people have been filling that void in a million different ways that seem worse than all the…

`4:24:09`

Did they increase your productivity, decrease it, or is that even the wrong question to ask? — I think it's one of the reasons why ambitious people are often afraid of having children because they think I have so much more to do and I barely have enough time now. How would I possibly be able to…

`4:25:10`

that carrying for your own children is some sort of unpaid labor that has to be compensated for in some specific way beyond the compensation of what bringing life into this world, racing wonderful humans. There's something screwy about that analysis that I actually think the modern trad movement is a reply against. Whether they have…

`4:26:11`

at least at their early age and taking on a lot of those responsibilities. Now it doesn't mean there isn't plenty of ways that I have to be part of that and have to chip in, but it's allowed me to continue to work the 40 hours a week that I've always worked…

`4:27:12`

depending of whatever is going on. Sometimes there's emergencies and you have to tend to them, but it's made it more structured. And I found some benefit in that and I've found some productivity in that, that I can't goof around quite as much that the day will end at around 5:36…

`4:28:13`

when even three hours, four hours of concentrated uninterrupted time every day would move to goals they truly care about way down the field. — I think kids do make you more productive in that way for people who need it, especially people like me. They create their urgency. Lik if you have to be done by 5…

`4:29:15`

where I feel content and full meaning if I actually do stuff that matters, if I can look back upon the week and go like that was a nice week, really. We moved forward. Maybe we didn't get done, but we moved forward and everything got better. And I think kids really helped just time box…

`4:30:15`

So don't give me that. There's time enough. And also what's so important that it ranks above continuing your lineage. I think there's just some ancient honor in the fact that, again, this DNA that's sitting on this chair traveled 30,000 years to get here and you're gonna squander all…