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Or,
if you prefer to order using a credit card, you can do it by
fax or phone. To fax your order, write the words "Seminar
Tape Order" on a sheet of paper and fax it to (352)
861-1665 along with the following information:

1)

Your
name as it appears on your credit card

2)

Your
credit card number

3)

The expiration
date

4)

Your
BILLING address for that credit card

5)

The 'security
code' from your credit card

a)

If
using Visa or MasterCard, the 'security code' are
the last three digits on the BACK of your credit card
in your signature panel

b)

If
using American Express, the 'security code' are the
four digits on the FRONT of your credit card above
your credit card number

6)

The shipping
address where you want the tapes sent

But,
like I said, you can also phone in your order. Normally, I'd
have you call my office and give your information directly to
Theresa…

Home:
(786) 924-3918

Cell:
(352) 895-0689

Also, since I'm expecting to get a lot of calls, if both those
lines are busy, you can call my friend, Carlos Duran
on his cell phone at (786) 390-9100 and he will
take your order.

If
you try to call and you can't get through, please do NOT
leave a voicemail message. Instead, e-mail me at...

[email protected]

and
leave your telephone number. I will then return your call as
fast as humanly possible. Also, please write "Seminar Tape
Order" in the Subject Line of your e-mail. That way, I
won't…

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

(temporarily the world's most exhausted guru)

P.S.

If
you decide to go to San Francisco to the same seminar
I will be attending, say "hello" to me if
you see me in the crowd. You can find all the details
about that seminar by clicking on the link below:

http://www.MasterMindSeries.com

That's
it for now. I'm gonna crank up the "No Mercy"
and take a little cruise.

Peace.

# azlk make god laugh

From:

South of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend &
Subscriber,

QUESTION: How do you make God laugh?

ANSWER: Tell him your plans for the future.

I am in the midst of madness. My last issue
was also written from Key West and here's part of what I
wrote:

"...Come closer. Pay careful attention. As I said
earlier, when I discovered the world of direct mail
and mail order, I was suffused with a certain kind of
peace. I knew no matter what twists and turns my life
would take, no matter how my marriages and
relationships would turn out, I would always have one
constant in my life…

"It is still true and will
remain so until the day I die. I
love it!

"Right now, I'm sitting at a
picnic table, under the shade of what Key Westers call
a 'tourist tree' (the bark is always peeling) just
outside one of the government buildings on Whitehead
Street in Key West near MILE ZERO. I'm barefoot…

I forgot. God
doesn't want Gary to be "happy-as-a-pig-in-shit."
God has chosen Gary to be a low-rent version of a modern-day
Job and, if Gary's happy meter gets to registering too high,
God seems to feel compelled to take corrective action...
like...

Send In A
Hurricane!

Three weeks ago, I'm just starting to get
settled. I haven't even got all my boxes unpacked from my move
from Miami Beach back to the Keys. The weather man keeps
pointing to a multi-colored snarl on the weather map on the
tube. It's getting closer to Florida.

And closer. And closer.

When it gets to the point where the
"strike probability" of where it hits land is 99%...
that... it will hit exactly where I live, I decide to
scoot. But, my car is in the shop. No cars to rent. They're
all taken. No plane seats to buy so I can fly out. They're…

The next one zips by too. But, this time, says
Mongo, the driver at least waved. We decide to give up. But,
lo and behold, the third bus does stop. Mongo calls to alert
me to be standing at the side of the road (A1A), he gets on
the bus, the bus then stops for me, and... we boogie to…

At Miami, I try to get another bus but nobody
wants to take the time to talk with me. I go into my Frank
Rizzo routine, scream, yell and terrorize everyone at the
Greyhound station. Finally, one of the Greyhound workers
allows as how there's a car rental place half-a-mile from the
bus station. Mongo and I…

We then take the Turnpike and head straight up
the middle of the State. We decide to stop running in the
thriving metropolis of a town called "Okeechobee"
(all the characters from "King of the Hill" live
here) and get two of the only motel rooms left between Miami
and Orlando. By the way, a curious thing happened as we…

Think about it: Thousands of cars are clogging
the highways as people flee the coming storm. The airways are
filled with emergency alerts and instructions. Entire families
are reduced to staying in a single motel room. The storm looms
closer, closer, closer. And here's this daffy bitch, so
unconscious of what's happening around her, she wants to
know…

"Does
The Hotel Have A Pool?"

"No
Ma'am. It don't. But don't you worry. In two more days the
whole damn State will be... nothing but one big pool."

Well, the hurricane comes to my enchanted
islands, squats over them and savages every square foot with
hurricane force winds... that
last for 20 hours!

I'm sorry God. I beg your forgiveness. No more
wriggling my toes in the scrub and marl and being
happy-as-a-pig-in-shit. From now on, Misery
Is My Motto!

Oooh, a mosquito just bit me! Notice that God?
That sucked a little, didn't it? Oh nuts, my contact lenses
are drying out and my eyes…

I know. I know. These are all minor
annoyances. But thousands of people just south of me still
don't have electricity and... hundreds
of them... have lost their entire homes. Look Lord, I
don't mean to tell you your business. But, you think maybe you
could see fit to give us folks who live down here "South
of…