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But before I do (there's a baby rabbit about 7 yards from
me!) I want to tell you that I just talked to your mom and
it put some pain in my brain. She works hard and now that I
am in here she more or less feels she's out there all alone
against the wolves. Rick wants…

It hurts.

But you once said the smartest thing I've ever heard a kid
say. You said that you were luckier than Jeff because when
Jeff lived with me I was already rich and that you get to be
with me when I am not rich and, therefore, you get to learn
how I solve problems, especially money problems…

Well, maybe we can both learn something today. (NOTE: I say
"well" almost as often as Ronnie Reagan, don't I?) What I
feel like doing is sniveling. I'd love to take some drugs or
alcohol and forget my problems. Or maybe just lie on my bunk
all day and read a book.

At the very least I'd like to eat. But I can't. I can't
because this is my day to fast. And to write to you. And to
Z. And to work on a new ad for L. Etc.

And, so I shall. Not because (that bunny is still right
here!) I want to but, rather, because I…

And... and... let's talk about envelopes and little baggies
filled with dirt. O.K. as I recall, I was just about to tell
you how to use a SRE to induce guilt in a regular commercial
DM sales pitch.

Here's how: What you do is write something like this:

...and so, Mr. Jones, as you
can see, what I am offering you is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity to own a piece of a legalized Nevada whorehouse.
I hope you can take advantage of this offer. But, if you
can't, would you please drop me a note and tell you can't
participate at this time. That…

Please, please -- reply
today!

Many lessons in that little block of copy. First of all,
it's not just a guilt inducer, it also develops a strong
selling point: Namely, the selling point of this being a
genuine limited offer that some other lucky person will take
advantage of it you don't. And, the stamped envelope tends
to "credential…

Can you guess why? Aha, you didn't get this one, did you,
smart alec? No matter. I'll tell you why. You see, what
happens sometimes is that a person who is getting a pen or
pencil and a piece of paper in order to write you and tell
you "No" will sometimes start thinking like this: "Well,
you…

Now, let's switch our discussion to another kind of envelope
where you also pay the postage for your customer. I'm
talking about, of course, the good old standby known as a
BRE or "Business Reply Envelope".

You've seen thousands of BRE's. They look like this:

____________________
Bulk Rate

____________________
Permit #

____________________
6666

If Mailed In U.S. Postage Will Be
Paid By

__________

Nevada Inc.
__________

201 Anywhere Rd.
__________

Las Vegas, NV 20215
__________

__________

__________

Most mailers love BRE's. They have the advantage of making
it easy for the customer to reply plus the advantage of
being much cheaper than a stamped reply envelope.

The reason they are cheaper is that you only pay the postage
(and BRE fee) for those envelopes that are actually mailed
back to you.

However, they also have some disadvantages. Like these:

They slow up your mail. The post office has to tabulate
how many BRE's you get each day so they'll know how much you
owe…

They telegraph that yours is not, in fact, a real
personal letter. You know, sooner or later, you've got to
let your potential customers know that you want him to buy
something. However, if you let him know immediately quite
often he won't even give you a hearing. And, in truth, this
is a disservice to him. Because…

So try to strategize your mailings so that he at least reads
your letter before he makes a decision.

You can't do good guilt with a BRE. SRE's are much better
for this purpose.

And now, let's talk about yet another type of reply
envelope. I call it the PSH envelope. PSH stands for "Place
Stamp Here…

____________________
Place

____________________ Stamp

____________________
Here

Nevada Inc.

201 Anywhere Rd.

Las Vegas, NV 20215

This is the most economical reply envelope of all. That's
because (obviously) the customer pays the postage. Let's
talk about this envelope: First of all, it's not as
convenient for the customer so you will lose some orders
because of that. On the other hand…

(Guess what,
Bondy? I think a solution to your mom's money
problems just popped into my mind!)

Now, of course, this envelope isn't as personal as an SRE
but it is more than a regular BRE. It is, as I have pointed
out, cheaper than both.

What it is, then, is cheaper than a SRE and more personal
than a BRE and, in my judgment, this is the best envelope
for most mailers to use.

More mailers should test PSH envelopes and carefully analyze
the results. Many of them are going to be surprised.

DAMN! I'm getting a little tired of writing about envelopes.
I think I'll switch over to discussing that little baggie
filled with dirt.

However, my hour is up and I've got to go stand count. (They
want to know where I am all the time. They must like me!)

Tune in again tomorrow.

I Love You and…

# Boron - Chapter 14

The Boron Letters - Chapter 14

Monday, 9:05 AM

June 25, 1984

Dear Bond,

Today we are going to talk about that baggie full of dirt that we have attached to our real estate investment sales letter.

Now, listen up. While it is true that you must attract attention to your advertisements and sales letters, it is also true that your "attention grabber" should be relevant. It should tie in with your message. It should make sense.