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A Press Conference!
What you'd do is, you'd stand in front of a
group of reporters and say, "Look,
I know you're all skeptical and I don't blame you. However,
this little green bean really does work and we are going to
pass several of them out to each of you. All I want you to…
What would happen then, if this green bean
really worked? It's simple; you'd have a nationwide sensation
on your hands. Individuals and organizations would be beating
down your door. You'd be all over the evening news in a flash.
You'd be on *Jay Leno, Oprah and all the rest. But, alas, the
"green bean" cannot be…
It's A Fraud!
Just like all the multi-level cosmetics and
vitamins that are going to give you back your youth. Just like
that stupid "gold scam" where you buy "right to
purchase more" certificates you are then supposed to go
out and sell to other people who are just as gullible as you.
But what about the legitimate…
Reluctantly, I said I would but only if first,
he would give me a chance to talk him out of it. Then I told
him that currently, one of my clients was mailing a
weight-loss promotion to the tune of 125,000 first-class
letters per day! Then, I
asked him, "How
many people would you have to have…
The point is this: If you have something good
to sell, sell it! Don't
sell somebody else on the idea of selling somebody else to
sell somebody else to sell somebody else, etc., etc., etc.
One of the current dumb MLM ideas is based on
a telephone deal that will lower a person's telephone bill.
Assuming this deal…
June 6, 1991
Rodney
Efferheart
7496 Caleb Street
Lorimar, CA 33099
Dear
Rodney,
You and I have never met but I know three
things about you:
1. You live on Caleb Street in Lorimar,
California.
2. Your telephone number is (907) 489-1633.
3. Your telephone bills are way too
high!
How do I know all this? Well, #1 and #2 are
simply a matter of public record. And, as far as #3 is
conceerned, I've recently learned that nearly everybody's
phone bill in Lorimar is way too high!
Here's the scoop. Etc., etc., etc., blah, blah,
blah, and so forth...
Think about this, dear subscriber: It would
only cost you a few hundred smackers to test such a letter
and, if it worked, you could easily "snowball" this
thing until you were mailing over 100,000 letters per week...
Almost Forever!
Assuming you were getting say a 5% response
from your letter, you'd be taking in about 1,000 orders every
working day. Now, I ask you, how many DD's ("Downline
Dorks") would it take you to equal that kind of action?
What if, for example, when I created the famous coat-of-arms
promotion, I decided…
The whole idea of MLM is stupid. It's also
depressing. What's more, MLM has something in common with a
pretty woman, which is...
Both Of Them Can
Lower Your I.Q.!
Ever try to talk rationally to a guy who is in
love? You're wasting your time. The object of his affection
could be an ax murderess…
So it is with MLM. Take a super smart guy like
Howard Ruff, get him on the subject of MLM and there, right
before your eyes, you'll see his eyes glaze over and his brain
begin to melt. He will become unreachable and unteachable.
Burn him once and he'll come back for more. Because, as they
say, "It…
Wrong. Everything about MLM is bad. MLM is not
inherently evil but it does (nearly always) attract inherently
evil people. Even if you start out with good products, good
intentions and good people, you will eventually, if you grow a
little, attract a massive amount of human scum into your
operation. And, even if this were not true, the whole…
The whole thing sucks.
Now, let me save some of you some time and
energy. Many people are going to read what I've just written
and they are going to want to explain to me where I've missed
the boat. They'll say, "Yes, what you say is normally true, but this deal is
different. We've got…
I don't care. What you're doing is still
stupid and, as far as I'm concerned, you can take your
"green beans," your Nu-Skin, your wonder vitamins,
your gold certificates, etc. and...
Stuff 'Em Where
The Sun Don't Shine!
I wonder, could there be anyone out there
still confused about how I feel about MLM? Yes, I'm sure there
are since, in my opinion, MLM is an I.Q. lowering drug that
should probably be regulated by the FDA. Therefore, for those
of you reading this who want to write or phone me about MLM,
you'll be…
I Don't Even Want
To Know Of Your Existence!
Now look, there's nothing wrong with looking
for an easy way to make a buck as long as it's legal,
slime-free and ethical. So, after having trashed MLM, I feel I
owe it to you to reveal unto you a genuine "magic
way" to make some money…
Am I right? Isn't that what you're thinking?
What's that? You say I'm not right? You say you have no
interest in an ethical new way to rake in huge piles of cash?
OK fine, then I'll write about something else.
Did I ever tell you about the time I was in a bar in…
JUST
KIDDING! JUST KIDDING! I will tell you. I swear.
I'll do it right now.
OK, to begin with, here is what should be one
of the most exciting sentences you will ever read:
"90%
Of All Business Owners In
America Have Never Written A Sales
Letter To Their Customers!"
Think about
what this means! It means there are millions and millions
of fungolas just laying around out there waiting for someone
to pick them up. This is a
jackpot situation! Here's how to exploit this baby:
Step #1:
Cut out all ads of local business
owners in the yellow pages of your telephone book.
Step #2:
Cut out all ads of local
business owners that have ran in your local newspaper
in the last week or so.